So now that I have accepted you back, you’re like fucking happy while I am in pain. So fucking annoyed now! I don’t know how then you will let me go! Fucking shit, I should have just not known you at all.

Fuck my life! 

I still haven’t being seeing her. It’s already 1week 3days. I miss her so badly, just can’t stop thinking about her. Her exam is just next week, I very worried. Today was thinking of giving her a suprise after her school but i fail instead i piss her off. Sorry. But you can still reply me without fail, I’m very happy. Anyway this time round you will do well for your paper. Because i will try not to keep on pester you. I will let you concentrate on your 5paper. It will end very fast. Don’t be stress alright~ My feeling for you still never change at all.

Happy CNY!:) Hope this two CNY you will be happy:) 

Sorry for making you worried for this two days! The concern and care I like it very much, I totally miss it:( Hope you don’t do anything foolish! Eat and sleep well everyday okay. I don’t want to see you turning into a bamboo:( see you tomorrow. Take care ah! I ……………….

Hi Aloysius,

Since you’re not replying my sms, I shall type here. And may be this is the last time I am typing here. 

You’re an amazing guy, the one who will travel all the way down from East to West and not complain at all. The one who shower girls with gifts, when she said she likes something. The one who won’t even raise the voice at the girl even if she is in the wrong. The one that will carry an umbrella around just because the girl said guy who carry umbrella for the girl is cool. The one that will remember every single thing that was said by the girl. The one that will remember to buy tissue cos the girl perspire easily. The one that tries whines cutely to get what he want but never got it. The one that is willing to hang out with the girl’s friends. The one that is forever so generous even though he is poor. The one that brings his phone to the toilet to shower to reply her smses cos he is worried that she will wait. The one that spoils his gf way too much that she became so unreasonable. The one that will quit smoking for the girl. 

Sorry that I can’t go on with you anymore. It hurts too much to cry almost everyday cos you disappoint me. It hurts too much to go on even say those three words. It hurts too much to see you suffer cos of me. It really hurts.

There’s to many things in the way that is not allowing me to be what I used to be. 

Please live well, live well for the people who love you.

I promise to hug rabbit everyday. Let’s continue to be friends, awesome ones, like the way we were 4 months ago. If we are fated, maybe in future we can be a couple again. If not invite me to your wedding, cos I know your wife will be the happiest lady on earth. 

After sitting down thinking and drinking, i really still need you! Because i really don’t know how to let go. I really don’t know. What i think is really all my retribution. Two years down i’m still living in this same life. Everytime i thought new year reach i will have a new life. But no. Not at all. Still think you and me will lead a peace life together, but still no.. Going out, eat, play. I miss the life how we use to laugh so loudly together, when we first held hand. I will never forget every moment.

Do you know why i can’t let go, i really never have a girlfriend who care for me so much only you. I never change for a girlfriend before only you. I never do so many things for a girl before only youuu. I know you use to think I’m a playboy. But i did prove myself to you I’m not. I never ever play with your feelings. I know i never spare a thought for you. What i do i keep saying, But didn’t do it. Why has come into me i don’t know. I feel everything is so meaningless now, really without you. When you get angry, i really want to try and think how to make you happy.

Yes you say everytime you are pissed, i will buy something indeed is true. I thought when i learn from dramas it will be alright. End up still went wrong. You are not hard to please. I never regret being with you at all. I don’t mind having sleepless night thinking how to salvage this relationship. I know everything I’m to be blame. If i ever being sensitive, mature, not stone, get what you are talking, talk before i think, not being stupid, get your attention and see the situation, everything will be alright. I know everyone agree I’m failure at love and useless as a guy.

I will never blame you what comes today i never. You know i also miss going to school alot. I know i’mnot normal. But i really thank you, you doesn’t care about me not studying. I know you want a boyfriend who goes to school, after that can share the same problems too. But really i really regret not going to ITE. I REALLY! At that point of time i really don’t like that course. Because i choose the same course as someone, ending up i hate it. I regret it.  I shouldn’t have follow. That’s why what comes today i really find everything in my life is useless. still even thinking working can bring me far, But wrong all noooo! Because after finding a school, i can work and be independent in everything, because i don’t want to depend on my parents. I don’t want to give them so much burden. One elder brother is enough!

I was so hoping i can continue studying at my private school. Ending up it close it close down.  Everything is fooling me really. Getting that cert is also useless. Which company will recognise it, i really also don’t want this to happen. I just want you to know everything. Yes Cassandrayou are stress too. But what i was hoping, i want to be there for you everything. This is your first relationship, i screw everything up. I screw everything in you! I know you just want me to get out of you life, But i really can’t. I didn’t know i will love you so deeply and crazy, which can drive me nuts every now and then. Its really hard for me to just throw it down the drain just like this, ITS HARD! This time i can say time won’t heal everything!  I’m really sorry for everything! You know if you give me any girl, i will still choose YOU! ONLy YOU!

Work i keep working, i neglect you also. Sorry. Because i just want to be hardworking, earn more money and give you a good life. I really miss those time with you! Cooking and many more!

I know you have forgive me times and times. Giving me so many chances. hurting you times and times too. But i never never take it for granted. I cherish you everything. Yes lately what i did is you never see before. You thought i change, But i’m still the old aloysius! Yes you are tired, you want your life back.  But we can’t forget those footsteps and moment together. The puzzle, is my happiest moment too. I like it. Seeing it fix, i was damn glad.

I just want you to give me one last last chance! I know i’m being repeating everything! Please i just need your last forgiveness please.

Will you forgive me? Let me love you again? I don’t mind waiting! I can wait!

Sorry sorry! Will you?

I really hate work, i really hate pepper lunch, i really hate the paper work, i really hate the task i’m suppose to do, i really hate being a manager there, i really hate the 2nd assistant there, i really hate i do all my paper work till i forget my break time, i really hate treating as a dog there. OMG! I just say it. People just give me so many task, while they just happily go off. They don’t even inform me anything in the end, next day i just get scolded for nothing. Schedule i do, see operation also me, do training also me, do follow up also me. My life, i really no life, no future. FUCK!

Darling i know you are also stress in school work. All this while if no you being there for me, i really don’t know how to carry on with this life. I really need you be with me. I never make use of your love, cheat you, play with your feeling. REALLY! Recently i know i’m such a fucking jerk, asshole and idiot. Trust me please, i still deeply love you, What i did i know. i know. sorry sorry sorry. I have never give up on this relationship. I really hope you too. Please love me still. Please please please.

Really cassandra. work or going into NS i really don’t care. I just care is you. I STILL REALLY!